In those days I thought like this, "I'll show God that I love him like a crazy man, and I will prepare myself to become a person who can testify to that." Then what is the limit of love? It's not the point you think. It's not as trifling a matter as you think.

Therefore I made haste, wishing that my youth, like a flower, would pass away fast. When I was a student, I walked not with my face looking up but looking down.

In my student days, whenever I came home from school I took off my student uniform, and I went to do physical labor--not because I had no money, but because I wanted to experience those jobs. I carried coal and I experienced the work of a construction laborer. I experienced everything. In other words I wanted to know everything about human suffering and human joy. \I thought that my responsibility was to liberate all people completely by becoming the man responsible for liberating those who are living in suffering or in joy. (37-36)

Was there nothing that I was envious of when I was your age? You go to movies often, don't you? But in those days, you must know, I never went to see movies, I never went in front of movie theaters.

We must equip ourselves with such subjectivity that no matter how ugly the behavior we may see, we are not infected by it. We have to be able to guide people who act like that. In order to do that we have to go through those things. Why?

Because we have to stand in a position transcending the line of committing crimes and sins even if we have to go through circumstances that are like movies or ugly places yet without being accused. (93-278, 184-247)