How do you know who are good friends? It depends on how thoughtful and how many times they think of you. The more thoughtful and more times they think of you, the better friends they are.

Who should be the best friend in your classroom? If there is one student who is very considerate of others and always tries to help them, but there is another student who wants them to be considerate only of himself, the latter would be kicked out while the former would become the master. (177-288)

Let's say there is a man who has ten friends. When this person is willing to live for them in the spirit of self-sacrificing, they would also want to live for him. Moreover, they would want to bring him to their relatives to introduce him proudly. But if one would try to make others live only for him, not only he himself but also all of them should go down. The former is the way for goodness, while the latter is the way for evil. (54-29)

When you talk about a true friend, what is the meaning of "true friend"? Let's say you have ten friends. Who can become the truest friend among them?

The plain truth is that the friend who would like to live for others in the spirit of self-sacrificing should be the truest friend. He doesn't want to live for his own interest but gives priority to the other's interest. He who is willing to live his life for others from his youthful days through later years must be the true friend of friends. (172-145)

Who is the true friend? He is the man who welcomes you gladly and receives you warmly--the opposite of the average person's mind today. If there is a good thing, the average person would say it is his, but, on the contrary, the true friend might well say to his friend, "This is yours." Everything is the opposite. If there is some tasty food on the table, the average person would say, "I will eat this." But one who can say, "Take this delicious food," is the true friend. The average person would say, "This sad thing is yours, and that joy is mine," while the one who can say, "This sad thing is mine, and that joy is yours," is the true friend. (156-82)

If a friend were to be the best friend of yours, the relationship between you and he should never be broken. He must be a better friend than anyone else in the world, including your wife. You cannot throw him away. Even at the risk of your life you could not break off relations with him. It is not because of sympathy but because you are connected from the bottom of your heart, which is the source of goodness. Any bond connected to the goodness in the original mind cannot ever be broken. (42-218)

Who is the happy person? He would be the man who has a friend who would be sad about his mishap. Who is the happy person? He is the man having a friend or children who are willing to take any pains for him, even at the risk of their lives, while he feels pain. He is the happy person. How about you? Do you all have such a friend? You should make a comparative study of people. When you meet any person, you can tell what he is like by comparing him to your friends, and which type he belongs to among 100 persons you know. Choose several types among them and try each out to find whether he is a gentle person, or a conceited person, or a impatient person, or an irresolute person, etc. (54-177)

For example, when you say, "He is a good friend," the one whom you call a good friend can be said to be a good friend only if he would be able also to call you one . But if he were to say of you, "Well, he is a tough egg," he cannot be your good friend. Therefore, to find out a good friend you must pass the critical point. You should improve your lot. What do you have to do to improve your lot? You should break into sweat. You should not spare yourself. You should pay the price in proper portion to improve your lot. So you need your sweat and tears. (33-317)

When we speak of "a bad man," what do we mean? We call the man who gives the first consideration only to himself and worries about his own interests a bad man. When such a man goes into society he would be branded as a bad man, so also in his family and among his friends. We humans are not destined to think of ourselves only. The most valuable things do not emerge from a self-centered attitude. Even though you have one thousand friends, you cannot boast of it. No matter how many friends you have, you might soon be left alone unless you can restrain the impulse to assert yourself only. It would, however, be of no use to perform a sacrificial rite to let them stay with you. All of them would leave if they encountered the insult, "You, guy, do this," three more times. You should know that to assert yourself only is the first step to self-destruction. (36-181)

When you are going to make friends, it becomes important to know whether they would be promising friends or hopeless friends. If you have a relationship with hopeless friends, you would have valueless results. Therefore, you must build relations with better friends in order to prepare for your future. (32-14)

When you are confronted with any problem or an accident in leading your religious life, you must always check the standard of your mind as to whether it says welcome to you or strikes terror into your heart. When someone comes to you and talks about some problem, awaiting solution, through your religious life you always have to analyze and judge it to see whether your original mind harmonizes with it at the place where you first hear it. (40-68)

Through your lifetime, from the cradle to the grave, a single word might hold sway over your destiny. Were it not for your single word, you might not be confronted with a disaster. But in many cases because of a single word people are ruined for their lives. The same may be said of hearing. Being once misinformed, many might be ruined for life. The same may be said for behavior. Because of attending a meeting once, you might make a failure of your life. And in making friends with someone, keeping bad company might make a failure of your life. There are no end of such cases. Therefore, men of good sense from ancient times teach you to be careful in your speaking, hearing, behaving, and making friends. You should know that the same teaching applies across the ages and countries of the world.

It is not easy for a man to be considerate of others when he is placed at a disadvantageous position. You are all the same. Don't you agree with me? [Yes]. In such conditions, to avoid his own suffering he might make a cat's paw of his friends, or take advantage of the situation, or he might talk and behave in a different way. Such conditions are waiting for you.

Considered in this light, whom on earth can you believe in? And whom else would you depend on? It is absolutely difficult to follow the right way under circumstances such as I mentioned above. Even though you believe in him as your good friend, you might easily be trodden on and taken advantage of by him, as circumstances might require. You are forced to walk through the world like that. Therefore, whom to make good friendships with or whom to have good relationships with is the most difficult question. (91-29)

If you have a friend whom you don't want to meet again, he is only a rash friend of yours. His future looks gray. If you have a friend who, even along a way of ordeal and difficulty, always gives you something stimulating, something impulsive, or something to make you awake, you should be always willing to follow him even through the thorny path. (42-194)