My mother told me something once. My mother had many children. She reached as many as ten and had three more. So how many all together? [Thirteen!] She had thirteen, so you could say that she had the same number as Jesus' group, for if you add the twelve disciples and Jesus that makes thirteen. My mother, a mother of thirteen, said: "There is nothing more interesting than raising children. Having a baby and breast feeding it and watching it grow is the most interesting thing there is. I don't know what I am going to do when I am an old woman and can't have any more children."

When I looked at my mother's face I saw a haggard, worn face. It was a face that had experienced all the different types of hardships. But the face that is worn by having lovingly raised children is beautiful to see. Love comes with difficulties and sacrifice but it also makes you forget all your sacrifices. If you have True Love you forget all your sacrifices. Those kinds of sacrifices become your fertilizer. It becomes your flesh and bones and your joy. Loving means becoming.

But if the husband says to his loving wife, "Darling, you were born to love a million units but please love me ten million," then what will happen? True love will not be realized in that family. Love given because it is asked for is not True Love.

True love is not, "I love you. Let's begin." It is a love that just appears naturally. Without realizing it, I just long after my partner. That is how it is. Love is something that is given and received without fanfare. It is not something that starts with the order, "Let's begin!" There is no such love as that.

So you shouldn't say to your wife, "Love me a million or love me ten million." If you want True Love you should say, "Even if you were born to love a million I will be satisfied with a hundred thousand." Then even if your wife loves you a million she will want to love you even more.

It is strange isn't it? But that is how it is. You don't want to give to those who ask you to give. You want to give to those who don't ask. This is love. You don't want to give love to the people who roam around wild. Love finds the person who is decent and modest. Love spreads gradually without anyone noticing it. When the husband and wife make love together, should other people watch?

Love should be without anyone else knowing it. It should flow naturally without any kind of force. With this kind of love somebody who is born with ten love can love a hundred or a thousand or ten thousand. Everything is possible and there is no harm or loss. (44-200)